the best free stuff in Australia
CLICK ON THE ENTER BUTTON AT THE TOP OF THE
PAGE TO ENTER OZ Oz freebies
free stuff at Oz Oz freebies.com range from freeware to free CD's,
freebies contests to winning free money and great free goodies. You
want Oz freebies we have them.
free stuff in our topten Oz freebies freebies
topten
free stuff here are the best free stuff as of that day. free stuff change
all the time, so the topten Oz freebies are updated as regular as the
freebies are changed. the Oz freebies here vary but usually they are
free stuff contests, free stuff downloads, Oz freebies cd's, Oz freebies
goodies, or free stuff of any type. Anyway they are all great
free stuff
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The next free stuff section is the CD Oz freebies classification.freebies
cds
freebies here range from computer free stuff, music Oz freebies,kids cd
freebies, and various Oz freebies. We try all the free stuff and make sure
that the Oz freebies are available to aussie free stuff hunters. If you
find cd's that are not working in aussie, tell us and we will remove
thosefrom the Oz freebies cd listing.
freebies in our contest Oz freebies freebies
contests
freebies here are all freebie contests, free entry. contests start at
smaller Oz freebies contest, then larger contests, then money contests,
then various contests (freebies from radiostations etc.), and last
USA contests these contests are up to you to find out if they work in
australia.
goodies Oz freebies freebies goodies
freebies here are Oz freebies for the house such as hobby stuff and
freebies coffe samples. the next section has Oz freebies such as
freebies books and Oz freebies magazines.than we have Oz freebies phone
calls, and phone connection.After that we looked at Oz freebies banking,
free internet and free real time banking.Freebies that follow are the
various Oz freebies, here anything that don't fit into the other
freebies sections go.
free stuff in our info free stuff freebies
info
info, from government Oz freebies such as freebie calls and mail
addresses. lots more free stuff will go there if you let us know of
your good free stuff so that others can enjoy them.how to do things
follow in the free stuff info area.How to fix appliences free stuff, how
to do anything Oz freebies they are all in our info Oz freebies area.Need
some Oz freebies 1800 phone numbers? these Oz freebies follow next. 1800
freebies to ring computer shops for free, to find free isp's, to get
some free health info.The next info free stuff are the pcinfo
freebies.here you will find knowhow Oz freebies how to fix a computer -
may be the freebie one you got in one of our Oz freebies contests - and
other pc Oz freebies. after the pc info Oz freebies, we get into the
various Oz freebies. this then ends the info Oz freebies at oz Oz freebies. if
you have any other Oz freebies that we need to include tell us about
those great Oz freebies.
freebies in our money Oz freebies freebies money
freebies here are the Oz freebies to make money, save dollars, of get
easy money. it starts with Oz freebies of how to get paid for surfing
the net, make lots of money with Oz freebies. Oz freebies in this section
are Oz freebies to read free e-mail or Oz freebies to watch adbanners for
easy money. Oz freebies in thew next section are Oz freebies you get at
casinos, free vouchers, free discounts on joining, freebie
vouchers.the next section - Oz freebies at save $ - gives you free
services or businesses that save you money.then we get to the
freebies that earn you money but not the read e-mail Oz freebies or surf
freebies, no these are other Oz freebies to earn money, make dollars and
get rich.this is the end of the Oz freebies concerned with making
money.
freebies in our scams Oz freebies freebies scams
freebies in scams are various and give you some ideas of how to take
advantage of consumer power.
software Oz freebies freebies software
freebies here are various software Oz freebies. In the software Oz freebies
we have,utilities, fun things, music Oz freebies,Graphics Oz freebies, and
again the various software Oz freebies.freebies
scams
freebies in scams are various and give you some ideas of how to take
advantage of consumer power.
freebies in our Various Oz freebies freebies
various
in the first group are all new Oz freebies, the Oz freebies here are all
the new Oz freebies from anywhere in oz Oz freebies. then we have office
freebies - all the Oz freebies an office could use, from intranet
freebies to e-mail Oz freebies. the next Oz freebies are the weird Oz freebies
- the weird and wonderful Oz freebies consist of the Oz freebies we did not
know what to do with. then we have funny Oz freebies such as the
hampsterdance and other funny's. the last Oz freebies in this group are
the music Oz freebies such as MP3 music Oz freebies. Our freebies
for surfing Surf
freebies include free software, Oz freebies utilities, we reviewed pay
to surf schemes (where you can earn money just for surfing or reading
e-mail), looked at the free ISP of Australia,websurfing
freebies
freebies such as free e-mail, free e-mail registration,freebie
faxing, Oz freebies speedboosts for your internet connection,free
anonymizers, Oz freebies av programs, free encryption utilities, there
is free offers to earn money on the net while you surf, Oz freebies
helpfiles, all kinds of free things and money making utilities.
.
On our Oz freebies webmaster pages freebies for
webmasterswe
have all the free goodies you could possibly want to build great and
free webpages. Our pages begin with Create
pages Oz freebies
freebies such as html editors of all types, then we have Oz freebies
Html veryfiers, free maximisation of your webpages, Oz freebies services
to check your HTML, Oz freebies such as Banner creators and other free
graphics programs, the usual free help files and Oz freebies sites to
help you are also there.Oh and before we forget, we also have some
free link verifier programs there. Once you have created the page you
need to put some free stuff on it. Here we can help you in our next
section at On the page Oz freebies.
Freebies On the page at Oz Oz freebies contains all the free goodies
your heart will desire. We have free images of all types, that is
free animated images as well as Oz freebies 3d and Oz freebies gifs. Now
you may want to include some sounds to give your page a bit of tune.
Well look at the great links we have in our free sounds section. we
have Oz freebies midi file and Oz freebies wmf sound files. So now you have
free sounds and Oz freebies images but you don't have any movement on
the page yet. Do not worry we have Oz freebies java scripts and free
java applets just here for you. next to them are some really good
free resources for finding Oz freebies CGI and free DHTML stuff. Because
freebies is what it is if you get it from Oz Oz freebies. Did you see
the Java man , well he is a script from one of the sites that we send
you to. I hear you say, " but i don't have a counter yet!" Well don't
worry my friend we show you where to get all the counters you need.
Do we have any Perl scripts? of course they are right next to the CGI
resources. And as with all the other sections, this section is nicely
rounded of with help sources, like HTML tutorials and the like. Lets
go onto the next Oz freebies section in our webmaster resources now.
Once your page has been created you will have to get it onto the net
some how. Publish page Oz freebies
You can use one of the Oz freebies FTP software programs we show you
here. Some of those Oz freebies are really good are they not? Getting
you good site on the net is good but where do you put it? Well here
we can help you with some Oz freebies again. From free webhosting to
free redirection services we have them all and we reviewed those
great Oz freebies as well. That makes choosing a Oz freebies for you easier
as you have all the information when you tackle the free web hosting
scene. Choose your free web hosting service carefully because things
such as downtime and banners are important although they may be a
free web hosting service. If you do have your own domain already
registered you can also use a free redirection service. They just
point you.com to wherever you are hosting it, whether free hosting or
not. As with all our other free webmaster resources, we also have a
freebies help section so you won't get lost among all those great
freebies. Let's now go to the promote the page sectionPromote
page Oz freebies.
freebies here are showing you what to do when you finally got your
site on the web. If you are running in a frame page like we are the
search engines will most likely completely ignore you. So you will
have to do what I am doing. as the search engine can't look past the
index page of this great Oz freebies site, it can't see all the great
freebies that i am offering at oz Oz freebies. So i have to now
basically write about all of our great Oz freebies here so that even a
silly search engine can find the greatest and best aussie Oz freebies.
Stupid isn't it?
anyway in our free webmaster resources section we have promotion tips
for free banner exchange programs in aussie as well as in the us.
Some of these free resources can be used quite effectively. if you
need to target aussie consumers living in oz that hyperbanner is a
good choice as they rtarget aussie sites for you if you so desire.
Now the dreaded submission to the search engines well we have some
great freeware programs here fior you as well as some freebie
services that will do just that for you. Check your search engine
status and help you for free to increase your chances of being found.
we also have a great free online toolbox for you here. a great
freebie this one isn't it? Now free affiliate programs help you not
only to earn money but they also help you to promote your self by
providing you with tips and more free tools. Again at the end of this
section we offer you some really really nice Oz freebies help so that
you don't get lost in the Oz freebies submission jungle out there. Now
we come to the last of our free webmaster resources section. Here we
have all the Oz freebies that help you make moneyEarn
$ Oz freebies. You
could open a free shop at zero cost to you here without any stock of
your own. Or you could put some adbanners onto your site and earn
some money with it. Well the easiest of them all is to join some
freebies referral programs because here you are being paid for just
sending people from your great site made with all the Oz freebies from
oz Oz freebies to the site that is selling the goods. Well then we still
have the usual Oz freebies help area and already we have finished the
great Oz freebies in tis free webmaster resources section.
Lots of people make us their
homepage. That way, they get on the net, check out what new Oz freebies
we have, do their bargain hunting for the day, get some goodies, go
for a download or two, and then get on with whatever they wanted on
the net. Basically, five minutes later and probably lot's
richer.
Don't think so? Well, go to the <Websurf>
page, there you will find the free Internet Service Providers of
Australia. Join up with them and the time spent on the net will
cost you nothing. But we even go one better, have a look at
<Money>
or <websurf><earn$>.
Not only will you surf for free, but if you join one of the 'payed to
surf' places, someone will actually PAY YOU TO SURF. Well, you
can even go shopping on the net, only, your stuff will be all for
nix. Don't forget these are not scams, these are for real.
Why are we running in frames(having
the Menu
on the left always staying there)? Because if your looking for
bargains, contests, any other stuffon the cheap or for nix, or to
enrol in one of the free Money schemes, it is easier
for you. Start getting your stuff by selecting a classification in
the menu, find your selection, click on the "go there" button
and then the Back button on your browser. Your right back with us.
You can freely navigate around the sites we show you, knowing we are
just one BACK click away.
View us as your guiding companion on your way to getting the good
stuff, making some easy money and bagging a CD on the
way.
What do we get out of it? Fun and money too, only fair, we're helping you to get things for nix and by you looking at some ads we get paid too.
SOME FACTS OF LIFE (don't know if their true though)
The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z; hence the name "OZ".
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and it can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "LA"
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.
When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Paul Reiser himself.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z; hence the name "OZ".
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
WHAT KIDS THINK ABOUT LOVE
Concerning Why Love Happens Between Two Particular People
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too."
Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell ... That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."
Mae, age 9
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."
Manuel, age 8
On What Falling In Love Is Like
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
John, age 9
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long."
Glenn, age 7
On The Role Of Beauty And Handsomeness In Love
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful."
Anita C., age 8
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."
Brian, age 7
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time."
Christine, age 9
Reflections On The Nature Of Love
"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too."
Greg, age 8
How Do People In Love Typically Behave?
"Mooshy ... like puppy dogs ... except puppy dogs don't wag their tails nearly as much."
Arnold, age 10
"All of a sudden, the people get movie fever so they can sit together in the dark."
Sherm, age 8
Concerning Why Lovers Often Hold Hands
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them."
Gavin, age 8
"They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down the aisle someday and do the holy matchimony thing."
John, age 9
Confidential Opinions About Love
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'Dinosaurs' is on television."
Jill, age 6
"Love is foolish ... but I still might try it sometime."
Floyd, age 9
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me."
Dave, age 8
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough."
Regina, age 10
The Personal Qualities You Need To Have In Order To Be A Good Lover
"Sensitivity don't hurt."
Robbie, age 8
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills."
Ava, age 8
Some Surefire Ways To Make A Person Fall In Love With You
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores."
Del, age 6
"Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs ... and don't worry if their parents are right there."
Manuel, age 8
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love."
Alonzo, age 9
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me."
Bart, age 9
How Can You Tell If Two Adults Eating Dinner At A Restaurant Are In Love?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love."
Bobby, age 9
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold ... Other people care more about the food."
Bart, age 9
"Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up."
Sarah, age 9
"See if the man has lipstick on his face."
Sandra, age 7
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are... on fire."
Christine, age 9
Titles Of The Love Ballads You Can Sing To Your Beloved
"'How Do I Love Thee When You're Always Picking Your Nose?'"
Arnold, age 10
"'You Are My Darling Even Though You Also Know My Sister.'"
Larry, age 8
"'I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!'"
Eddie, age 6
"'I Am in Love with You Most of the Time, but Don't Bother Me When I'm with My Friends.'"
Bob, age 9
"'Hey, Baby, I Don't like Girls but I'm Willing to Forget You Are One!'"
Will, age 7
What Most People Are Thinking When They Say "I Love You"
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day."
Michelle, age 9
"Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they finally got it out and said it and now they can go eat."
Dick, age 7
How Was Kissing Invented?
"I know one reason that kissing was created. It makes you feel warm all over, and they didn't always have electric heat or fireplaces or even stoves in their houses."
Gina, age 8
How A Person Learns To Kiss
"You can have a big rehearsal with your Barbie and Ken dolls."
Julia, age 7
"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you."
Brian, age 7
"It might help to watch soap operas all day."
Carin, age 9
When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?
"When they're rich."
Pam, age 7
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you ... That's why I stopped doing it."
Tammy, age 10
"If it's your mother, you can kiss her anytime. But if it's a new person, you have to ask permission."
Roger, age 6
How To Make Love Endure
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work."
Dick, age 7
"Don't forget your wife's name ... That will mess up the love."
Erin, age 8
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash."
Dave, age 8
"Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind ... Love isn't like picking what movie you want to watch."
Natalie, age 8
HERE ARE SOME STUPID JOKES TOO
A duck walks into a bar and asks "got any crackers?"
bar tender says no.
Duck walks out. Duck walks in the next day and asks, "got any crackers?"
bar tender says no. Duck walks out.
Duck walks in the next day and asks got any crackers?
Bar tender says, "I told you yesterday and the day before that no! and if you ask that one more time Ill nail your beak shut!" Duck walks out.
Duck comes back the next day and asks, "got any nails?" bar tender says no. Duck says "good. Got any crackers?"
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office for a checkup. Afterwards, the doctor took the wife aside and said, "Unless you do the following things, your husband will surely die." The doctor then went on to say, "Here's what you need to do." "Every morning make sure you serve him a good healthy breakfast. Meet him at home each day for lunch so you can serve him a well balanced meal. Make sure you feed him a good, hot meal each evening and dont overburden him with any stressful conversation, nor ask him to perform any household chores. Also, keep the house spotless and clean so he does'nt get exposed to any threatening germs." On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said. She replied, "You're going to die".
A guy walks into a bar. He sits down and says to the bartender, "I'll bet you $100 that if you put a shotglass at that end of the bar, I could stand at the other end and fill it up with my urine." Well the bartender thinks, "That's an easy $100." So he says "Okay." So the guy gets on top of the bar and pees everywhere, even on the bartender. Well, the bartender doesn't care, he just won $100. So very happily the bartender asks for his money. The guy very happily says, "Here you go!" The bartender then asks, "Why are you so happy?" And the guy says, "Well, do you see that guy at the other end of the bar? I bet him $1000 that I could pee on you and you would be happy!"
WHAT KIDS THINK ABOUT LOVE
Concerning Why Love Happens Between Two Particular People
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too."
Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell ... That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."
Mae, age 9
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."
Manuel, age 8
On What Falling In Love Is Like
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
John, age 9
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long."
Glenn, age 7
On The Role Of Beauty And Handsomeness In Love
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful."
Anita C., age 8
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."
Brian, age 7
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time."
Christine, age 9
Reflections On The Nature Of Love
"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too."
Greg, age 8
How Do People In Love Typically Behave?
"Mooshy ... like puppy dogs ... except puppy dogs don't wag their tails nearly as much."
Arnold, age 10
"All of a sudden, the people get movie fever so they can sit together in the dark."
Sherm, age 8
Concerning Why Lovers Often Hold Hands
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them."
Gavin, age 8
"They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down the aisle someday and do the holy matchimony thing."
John, age 9
Confidential Opinions About Love
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'Dinosaurs' is on television."
Jill, age 6
"Love is foolish ... but I still might try it sometime."
Floyd, age 9
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me."
Dave, age 8
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough."
Regina, age 10
The Personal Qualities You Need To Have In Order To Be A Good Lover
"Sensitivity don't hurt."
Robbie, age 8
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills."
Ava, age 8
Some Surefire Ways To Make A Person Fall In Love With You
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores."
Del, age 6
"Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs ... and don't worry if their parents are right there."
Manuel, age 8
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love."
Alonzo, age 9
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me."
Bart, age 9
How Can You Tell If Two Adults Eating Dinner At A Restaurant Are In Love?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love."
Bobby, age 9
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold ... Other people care more about the food."
Bart, age 9
"Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up."
Sarah, age 9
"See if the man has lipstick on his face."
Sandra, age 7
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are... on fire."
Christine, age 9
Titles Of The Love Ballads You Can Sing To Your Beloved
"'How Do I Love Thee When You're Always Picking Your Nose?'"
Arnold, age 10
"'You Are My Darling Even Though You Also Know My Sister.'"
Larry, age 8
"'I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!'"
Eddie, age 6
"'I Am in Love with You Most of the Time, but Don't Bother Me When I'm with My Friends.'"
Bob, age 9
"'Hey, Baby, I Don't like Girls but I'm Willing to Forget You Are One!'"
Will, age 7
What Most People Are Thinking When They Say "I Love You"
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day."
Michelle, age 9
"Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they finally got it out and said it and now they can go eat."
Dick, age 7
How Was Kissing Invented?
"I know one reason that kissing was created. It makes you feel warm all over, and they didn't always have electric heat or fireplaces or even stoves in their houses."
Gina, age 8
How A Person Learns To Kiss
"You can have a big rehearsal with your Barbie and Ken dolls."
Julia, age 7
"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you."
Brian, age 7
"It might help to watch soap operas all day."
Carin, age 9
When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?
"When they're rich."
Pam, age 7
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you ... That's why I stopped doing it."
Tammy, age 10
"If it's your mother, you can kiss her anytime. But if it's a new person, you have to ask permission."
Roger, age 6
How To Make Love Endure
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work."
Dick, age 7
"Don't forget your wife's name ... That will mess up the love."
Erin, age 8
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash."
Dave, age 8
"Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind ... Love isn't like picking what movie you want to watch."
Natalie, age 8
HERE ARE SOME STUPID JOKES TOO
A duck walks into a bar and asks "got any crackers?"
bar tender says no.
Duck walks out. Duck walks in the next day and asks, "got any crackers?"
bar tender says no. Duck walks out.
Duck walks in the next day and asks got any crackers?
Bar tender says, "I told you yesterday and the day before that no! and if you ask that one more time Ill nail your beak shut!" Duck walks out.
Duck comes back the next day and asks, "got any nails?" bar tender says no. Duck says "good. Got any crackers?"
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office for a checkup. Afterwards, the doctor took the wife aside and said, "Unless you do the following things, your husband will surely die." The doctor then went on to say, "Here's what you need to do." "Every morning make sure you serve him a good healthy breakfast. Meet him at home each day for lunch so you can serve him a well balanced meal. Make sure you feed him a good, hot meal each evening and dont overburden him with any stressful conversation, nor ask him to perform any household chores. Also, keep the house spotless and clean so he does'nt get exposed to any threatening germs." On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said. She replied, "You're going to die".
A guy walks into a bar. He sits down and says to the bartender, "I'll bet you $100 that if you put a shotglass at that end of the bar, I could stand at the other end and fill it up with my urine." Well the bartender thinks, "That's an easy $100." So he says "Okay." So the guy gets on top of the bar and pees everywhere, even on the bartender. Well, the bartender doesn't care, he just won $100. So very happily the bartender asks for his money. The guy very happily says, "Here you go!" The bartender then asks, "Why are you so happy?" And the guy says, "Well, do you see that guy at the other end of the bar? I bet him $1000 that I could pee on you and you would be happy!"
SOME FACTS OF LIFE (don't know if their true though)
The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z; hence the name "OZ".
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and it can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "LA"
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.
When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Paul Reiser himself.
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